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She rejected me. What can I do? - This is a real story and I need your help.

apoorman(iamsosad)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I met her in a LINC class and falled in love with her very soon, I guess. This is the first time in the last ten years I had such a feeling, just like the first time I falled in love with my wife. But I didn't say anthing to her.

When the class was going to close, I wrote a letter and handed to her. In the next day, we went out for lunch. She said we can only be normal friends. Everything was OK by then. Then I did something very wrong, I couldn't control myself and sent her a lot of SMS. I also went to her house but she refused to see me. Things started to screwed up from here. Now she refuse to see me, say things like "leave me alone, don't disturb me,..."

I am feeling very bad now. I really don't want to end like this. I want to talk to her and at least get things back to normal. I don't know what's in her mind. Why she can't talk to me.

I am a techie and really have no experience to handle such kind of situation. I've stayed outside of China for many years while she's just came here along. Both of us are married. Sometime, I feel it could be the culture difference.

Please teach me how to get out of this situation. I really like her. Thanks a lot.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#1764912@0)
Last Updated: 2004-6-15
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  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / She rejected me. What can I do? - This is a real story and I need your help. -apoorman(iamsosad); 2004-6-15 {1192} (#1764912@0)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I met her in a LINC class and falled in love with her very soon, I guess. This is the first time in the last ten years I had such a feeling, just like the first time I falled in love with my wife. But I didn't say anthing to her.

    When the class was going to close, I wrote a letter and handed to her. In the next day, we went out for lunch. She said we can only be normal friends. Everything was OK by then. Then I did something very wrong, I couldn't control myself and sent her a lot of SMS. I also went to her house but she refused to see me. Things started to screwed up from here. Now she refuse to see me, say things like "leave me alone, don't disturb me,..."

    I am feeling very bad now. I really don't want to end like this. I want to talk to her and at least get things back to normal. I don't know what's in her mind. Why she can't talk to me.

    I am a techie and really have no experience to handle such kind of situation. I've stayed outside of China for many years while she's just came here along. Both of us are married. Sometime, I feel it could be the culture difference.

    Please teach me how to get out of this situation. I really like her. Thanks a lot.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • There is no chance for you. Forget about it. You are too aggressive. And that's scary. -jeffrey815(Smartiecat); 2004-6-15 (#1765031@0)
      • You are right. Now I realised. So what can I do now? -apoorman(iamsosad); 2004-6-15 (#1766017@0)
    • both of you ARE married, and you falled in love with her? Anyway, this is not easy for you.. -hailstorm(雨夜寒冰); 2004-6-15 (#1765077@0)
    • 看见了吧, 有些人就是视忠诚如粪土. 要追她, 先和你老婆讲清楚 -wineandance(对酒当歌); 2004-6-15 (#1765157@0)
    • 哈哈！！！活该！！！ -arfeifei(老顽童誓把主坛变水缸); 2004-6-15 (#1765286@0)
    • Ask youself first, what kind of result you want. If you succeed, how about you wife and her husband. How about in next 10 years this happen again? -freesoul(le); 2004-6-15 (#1765323@0)
      • Don't do that! -primo(Primo); 2004-6-15 {138} (#1765833@0)
        I did the same thing as you did. I suceeded, but ended with more pain. Stop doing that! Stupid man! Be grateful for what you have for now!
    • 首先，你不必为自己的所作所为而后悔内疚，每个人都有爱的权力，男人和女人， -won(手凉脚凉); 2004-6-15 {344} (#1765922@0)
      都不可能一辈子只爱一个人，人是有血有肉的，企是婚约这一张纸所能改变的，爱是正常的。其次，从她坚决的态度来讲，你的知难而退是正确的，把你的BACK TO NORMAL的想法传达给她，只要你诚恳，相信不会被拒绝的。至于由此而衍生的痛苦，时间是最好的漂白剂，权当是让人生完整的一次体验啦。好男儿志在四方，树立远大理想，崇高的人生观，世界观，向更高更远的目标迈进巴。
      • “好男儿志在四方，树立远大理想，崇高的人生观，世界观，向更高更远的目标迈进”--------:D, :D .:D -mike2000(风筝); 2004-6-15 (#1766152@0)
      • did you copy&paste the last sentence from an old political textbook? -win(秋天的菠菜); 2004-6-30 (#1784530@0)
    • 原来你结婚了，culture有 difference是不错的， culture有时也有共性，比如都有婚与不婚的区别。 -henhen(亨亨 ^_*); 2004-6-15 (#1765929@0)
      • 无益的说教很无意 -win(秋天的菠菜); 2004-6-30 (#1784669@0)
    • So you're a techie eh? Let's do some tech talk then. -mocha(Heart closed-关心); 2004-6-15 {709} (#1765962@0)
      Your first letter was a simple icmp ping to her IP, and she responded. Good!

      The next day you guys went for a lunch, together, for that you just successfully handshaked with her at port 80, with an HTTP protocol.

      Now you went further, first you ssh to her port 22, and try to log on as root. Of course you failed, 'coz you didn't have the password. Even tried to portscan her.

      Finally you knocked on her door, the data centre, attemped to use the console directly, unauthorized!

      You know what you did. Now her firewall has been set up so that your IP address can never connect, not even a ping.

      You've just "fingered" yourself, my techie friend.


      "All rights reserved 2004 by Mocha"
      • Very clear. It's helpful. But what can I do now? -apoorman(iamsosad); 2004-6-15 {310} (#1766009@0)
        Such a coincidence. I am working in a very big organization. All the time, I was able to access the mainframe, but recently I got an error says "can't resolve the host name." Yestersay, I have to raise a firewall form to regain the access. There is no other way.

        So where do I get approval for this case?
      • I tried both Mocha and jsm. I can't see anything. I don't know what happened. Probably it's not written in Java. -apoorman(iamsosad); 2004-6-15 (#1766014@0)
    • Thank you for every word you put in. I will slowly answer all your questions by posting all the letters I've sent to her. I've got permission from her to post the story on the web. -apoorman(iamsosad); 2004-6-15 {341} (#1766029@0)
      She says in her SMS:
      "You can write whatever you want, but I do not what my name on it. Pls stop sending me the letters. You hv your right, but I do not want to be disturbed."

      Everytime when she replies the my SMS, she will add this "do not disturb me." I am afraid if she really don't like me, it's not so good to "disturb" her.
      • 你一个有老婆的老男人缠着人家到底要干啥？唧唧歪歪无聊不无聊？X-( 难道你老婆不上Rolia？如果是这样的话，看来Rolia还要加强推广和宣传力度。 -pingle(babyfish nanny); 2004-6-15 (#1766040@0)
        • ＭＭ，人家每天挖坑不止，这也是一种爱好啊，和钓鱼的一样：） -maple88(枫叶); 2004-6-15 (#1766048@0)
          • 每天？过分呀，我一星期最多只能去钓两次鱼。:(( -pingle(babyfish nanny); 2004-6-15 (#1766082@0)
            • 啊，过分啊！我两个多星期没钓鱼了。 -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2004-6-15 (#1766087@0)
          • 不反对挖坑，但是希望能 有一个专门的挖坑马甲，让那一小部份同学一起用。 -dalianmao(dalianmao); 2004-6-15 (#1766112@0)
            • 马甲叫苹果apples怎么样？！ -arfeifei(老顽童誓把主坛变水缸); 2004-6-15 (#1766185@0)
        • 痛快！！// 不过，我觉得这就是一坑。 // 再不过，就算是个坑我们也要狠狠地砸块大石头！ -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2004-6-15 (#1766063@0)
          • 哼！我管他是不是坑。挖坑也不能这么挖嘛。要挖就挖个回肠荡气的，唧唧歪歪算啥？ -pingle(babyfish nanny); 2004-6-15 (#1766079@0)
          • 秧子不就喜欢干这个么。 -henhen(亨亨 ^_*); 2004-6-15 (#1766080@0)
          • 只许苹果钓鱼，不许百姓挖坑？ -maple88(枫叶); 2004-6-15 (#1766081@0)
        • agree! -eggtart(egg); 2004-6-16 (#1766894@0)
    • 找二奶报告跑这儿了. -huimin(huimin); 2004-6-15 (#1766107@0)
    • 看得出来上LINC时没咋学 -fatbean(happylife); 2004-6-15 (#1766133@0)
    • 不好看，不好看，回去重新编。 -sofia(小白兔-金猴吉祥); 2004-6-15 (#1766146@0)
    • 大哥，拿钱砸呀，你都结婚了还指望人家MM对你有什么奢望吗？只有拿钱砸啦 -kevin_tor(KFC); 2004-6-15 (#1766157@0)
    • 去问问她老公吧。人家追成功了一次，肯定有经验。 -windows2010(Crash Cymbal); 2004-6-15 (#1766176@0)
      • 这招最高. -huimin(huimin); 2004-6-16 (#1766965@0)
      • 一定要登门求教呦。然后一定要拍照留念呦。 -windows2010(Crash Cymbal); 2004-6-16 (#1766991@0)
    • Funny, outside China很多年居然还需要上LINC？ @^@ -canadiantire(水坛轮胎); 2004-6-30 (#1784709@0)
    • Is this for real? You've stayed outside China for many years, then why did you have to attend LINC ? -ruguo(如果); 2004-7-1 (#1786619@0)

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