First, you have to make sure your counterpart did something wrong or potentially wrong, based on North American standard rather than the Chinese standards you have learned before.
-iamnotsure(ilovehiking);
2010-8-10(#6221489@0)
Secondly, you have to stay calm and remember it is a communication rather than an argument. Express youself clearly and in a good manner.
-iamnotsure(ilovehiking);
2010-8-10(#6221490@0)
I AM calm. Isn't that the point?
-sandao(三刀);
2010-8-10(#6221495@0)
You are calm. What i am talking is regarding to the general rules rather than for your situation. Of course, all the issues are different and we should use a different approach.
-iamnotsure(ilovehiking);
2010-8-10(#6221501@0)
sorry to disappoint you. but you are talking trash.
-sandao(三刀);
2010-8-10(#6221502@0)
这话太虚,不PROBE你怎么知道对方怎么回事,而且象这种小事,主要的目的是PREVENT继续恶化,没有必要去究其根本。所以你要传递给对方”I am watching you"的信息,而不是“I am fvcking you“。不然就不会那么礼貌周到了。
-sandao(三刀);
2010-8-10(#6221492@0)
此话有理。
-zzhang(zz);
2010-8-10(#6221496@0)
Read my sencond suggestion before you say so.
-iamnotsure(ilovehiking);
2010-8-10(#6221498@0)
You suggested nothing. Nothing that is clear/detail/concrete enough that provide any value anyway.Don't BS me pal. When I was in B-School, this kinda of vague trash talking was the first slap the professor throw back on my face. Get some education and get real.
-sandao(三刀);
2010-8-10{164}(#6221500@0)
We are not discussing a particular issue. it is only regarding the usual steps to confront another person. BTW, I feel you are agressive and question if you can stay calm or not during the time of confrontation
-iamnotsure(ilovehiking);
2010-8-10(#6221505@0)
It is based on my personal experience and insight rather than memory anyone else's theory. Unfortunately, it does help in the real world.
-iamnotsure(ilovehiking);
2010-8-10(#6221523@0)
你可以跟儿子说,明天老师再对你吼,让她跟老师说,Ms Claire,you just screamed at me, you probably did not realize that. Are you OK? ..... do you feel better now?....很多说法,看你儿子怎么应对了。孩子要学吧。
-x888(我是木匠的儿子);
2010-8-10(#6221526@0)
This is another approach to solve the same problem and I think I have to support this one. Well said!
-iamnotsure(ilovehiking);
2010-8-10(#6221532@0)
刚才不好意思拂三八的好意,其实这种事情,我这个老粗的标准答案:“Hey!! What are you doing? Why are you talking to my son? If you got something to say, say it to me. You got nothing to say, you bite your fvcking tongue." 俺不斯文啊,太野蛮了,太野蛮了。
-sandao(三刀);
2010-8-11(#6221925@0)
关于你孩子的例子,其实38的解决办法是非常棒的,值得推荐:“你可以跟儿子说,明天老师再对你吼,让她跟老师说,Ms Claire,you just screamed at me, you probably did not realize that. Are you OK? ..... do you feel better now?....很多说法,看你儿子怎么应对了。孩子要学吧。 “ -x888(我是木匠的儿子); 8.10 20:18 (#6221526@0)
这就要看说话的技巧了,既能善意的提点对方,又能在公开场合的情况不让人太尴尬,给人台阶下。要做到这样是很难的,38 教孩子如何应付其实就是家长的介入,而且,个人觉得38教孩子的回应没有什么不妥。即便孩子判断错误了,老师也只会回答:oh, i am sorry. did i scare you? don't worry, sweet heart.
-frances1007(天上所有的星);
2010-8-11{59}(#6222771@0)
说的好! 这就是家长后面要做的功课了。孩子在深呼吸后能够先让对方 back off,那么作为家长一定要狠狠地表扬,做的太棒了。如果孩子没有做到,只是简单把事情说清楚了,也要表扬,但是,需要指出来下次碰到这类似的情况要如何如何就更好。孩子毕竟是孩子,能力也不是一蹴而就的,只要我站在孩子的身边,保护好他的安全,那么就可以给他机会锻炼。一次不行,可以两次,两次不行,可以三次。直到行为之。用38的话说:多大的事啊。
但是,却很好的锻炼了孩子。
Body language and expression account for 70% of the message in a face to face communication. 这么简单的知识不用我教你吧?cool dude?
-sandao(三刀);
2010-8-10(#6221590@0)